Good evening!
Among other factors to be taken into consideration when deciding about relocation, a serious one is leaving back elderly parents. Another dilemma on the basis "Should I stay or should I go?"
Not an easy decision to make indeed.
There are people saying that "I have to live my life, as my parents did". I don't fully agree with that but I have to respect that there is this point of view too.
Some others again, reject great opportunities in order to stay back. Yet again, I am not so sure about it too.
As I have read once, "we are the meat in the sandwich" - we are between our parents and our families. From one point of view when an opportunity arises, you take it. For your families' good, for your children's better future, for many reasons. You know them better. From another point of view, together with the opportunity, the guilty feelings arise.... Especially in the case of an illness, without a doubt we are torn in two...
I suppose it all depends on what you really want to do and why. For example, is this opportunity really great / unique ? If yes, you shouldn't miss it. Besides, we never know when something -good/bad- will happen. When something happens we will deal with it. We can always have in our mind some possible upcoming situations and be as prepared as possible. For instance, we could have a relevant clause in our business contract (if possible of course) for a "special occasions' leave", or to save some money for any unexpected occurrences happen.
I know that in some countries there are greatly organized retirement villages with really upgraded services of high standards. There, one retiree could feel both independent, secure and active. In some other countries, there are companies, with specialized professionals visiting elderly people taking care of their medicines, their food and running their errands. Obviously, there are cases with no possibility of paying those services and one should rely on neighbors' and friends' good will.
More than normal to feel that someone else taking care of our parents is not the best choice neither for us nor for our parents.
If this could be somehow relieving, consider that the world has become even more smaller with cheaper and more convenient air travel. So, unless having relocated to the other side of the world, visiting parents could be really cost effective and easy with an timely planning.
Of course, it goes without saying that feeling guilty is inevitable! At the same time, this feeling could not let you act objectively and make the right decisions. And this is something neither your family nor your parents would like.
Consider your options and weigh the consequences.
Leaving your country for a better future does not mean that your are leave - abandon your parents and that you neglect them.
Discuss with them explaining in an honest and open way everything you think, even if they consider that your anxieties are overblown. Since parents tend not to tell what they need, be prepared to bend their cagey attitude.
Here, I don't think there is a "good" and a "bad" choice. Just try to do the best for them and also be sure that it is not possible everybody to be happy.
Above all, the substance of the family is the bond and the mutual support. Everything could be solved. As they say, "where there is will there is the way".
